If By a Still Small Voice He Calls

It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle's front
My Lord will have need of me.
But if, by a still small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I'll go where you want me to go.
                                    -Hymn 270

This popular LDS hymn has never rang more true in my life that it did when I decided to go on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I guess I could say that it wasn't even my decision at all. My decision came though a lot of poking and prodding from the spirit (and my parents) and eventually, I listened.

In October 2012 President Thomas S Monson made the announcement that the mission age changed from 19 to 18 years old for the men and us girls could begin serving at 19 instead of 21. Well, life changed for many that day. Girls went crazy! I remember I was sitting on the couch waiting for the new temple announcements or whatever, and suddenly THAT happened. I turned to my parents and in tears, told them I was going on a mission. That was two years ago.

As time went on, that feeling faded away. I got caught up in life and started to forget my decision. I was living the college dream! Well, as much of the college dream you can live in Rexburg, Idaho...I began to listen to others and not my own heart and the spirit. It took "my world falling apart" (in a teenager's frame of mind) for me to finally sit down and open up to what the spirit wanted to tell me.

This past March, I was sitting with my sister at the General Women's Broadcast in the I-Center. It was cold and raining and I was a little bummed out with how things were working out for me. During this broadcast (which had nothing to do with missionary work oddly enough) suddenly I realized that I couldn't decide on a major and things weren't working out like I thought they should because I needed to go on a mission. The thought came to me with such power, I knew that It was a message from my Heavenly Father through the Holy Ghost, and I could not deny it any longer. I had to go on a mission.

A few short months later, I was filling out paperwork and getting interviews. Then two months after that, I received my call to Paris, France. And now, in two months I'll be on a plane heading to Provo, UT and then I'll be off to France where I will be living and serving for 18 months. 

My decision to go on a mission wasn't something that I came to overnight. I didn't have a miracle and suddenly my eyes were open. It took two years of thinking, praying, and learning to listen. It took me making a decision, doubting it, and then learning to trust myself in making the right choice. Someone told me once that once you get an answer to a prayer to always trust that answer and do not try to change it. If it is true the first time, it will always be true. I should not have doubted my original feeling of going on a mission, but because I did, it took me until two years later to finally follow the promptings of the spirit to get my butt off the couch and go dedicate a year and a half of my life to just doing the Lord's work. Now, I couldn't be more excited.